how to impress irish girl
Alright so a couple of nights ago a friend of mine sent me on the search for articles about dating Irish men, advice for American women. T...
http://howtolovegirl789.blogspot.com/2013/08/how-to-impress-irish-girl.html
Alright so a couple of nights ago a friend of mine sent me on the
search for articles about dating Irish men, advice for American women.
Tips and warnings. They thought it was hilarious…What I found, crushed
my self confidence! The articles portrayed Irish guys as great with a
few big BUTS. I won’t quote the articles directly but one said; sure
Irish guys are not that pretty boy working on Wall Street, they won’t
impress you with their money and success or pretty boy good looks but
rather will win you over with their sense of humor and charm.
Jesus…thanks, I’m ugly now? Also I can’t be wealthy or successfully? If
you want to date an ugly fuckin’ troll that can make you laugh, find an
Irish guy? yee cunts…
Irish guys are mammys boys, you will always be second place in his heart. THE FUCK?? I live nearly 10k miles away from my mammy. I talk to her for a few minutes on the weekend. I do my own laundry and take care of myself. I won’t say it’s completely un-true but you then you also say Irish guys don’t commit. If we are all Mammy’s boys then wouldn’t that mean we’d respect women? Which is it ya Donkey raping shit covered cocks, yee!?
Also Irish guys don’t know much about the actual history of their country and seem ashamed of their culture. Ya what? Although their parents and grandparents played Traditional music throughout their lives, the new age Irish guy does not listen to this music or enjoy it and seems embarassed by it. What the fuck are ya shiten’ on about at all? I never once witnessed my dad listen to Traditional Irish Music and I do listen to some of it and enjoyed going to it being played live, so go fuck yourself.
Anywho. All of that is how I interpreted those sites. Some points were fairly valid. Irish guys drink too much and are wrongly proud of it, put hanging out with their own friends before their girlfriends etc. all ring somewhat true, I think. Because of the beat down, I thought I’d do up my own little guide:
Dating an Irish Man:
Firstly, forget about that dating craic. We don’t date. We’ll meet up with you at the end of a night out with our friends and make the face of ya, if you’re lucky. If we really like you, you’ll get finger fucked down an alleyway and then walked to the taxi rank.
We do love our Mammy, that’s for sure but all that means is you have to show us your worth. If you make a decent sheppards pie and iron our clothes, we’ll be like putty in your hands…or more likely, in your panties.
Us Irish lads aren’t like the lads in The Field or The Quiet Man any more. We have more hair products than yourselves and we’re also into our low cut tops and lesbian haircuts. Chinos and Skinny Jeans make our asses look like steaks in the butchers window, come get it girls. RARRR
We’ll make you listen to all kinds of music you will inevitably hate. At first you will think it’s cute because it’s so cultural and unique. But when you hear Come Out You Black and Tans at 3am every Sunday morning you will grow to hate it. Also we do know about our nations history and so will you, after we rant incessantly about how our people were wronged and expect compassion and understanding for the hurt we somehow feel even though it was decades ago and didn’t really directly impact our own lives.
We do have a great sense of humor. We love the craic, because the craic is mighty. However be warned, a dark, cynical soul lives deep within. We will comment on and critique other nationalities without ever having lived with them, we will belittle others success and from time to time we may even tell you to go fuck yourself but within hours we’ll be charming you once again with our quick wit and hearty banter. Oh to be sure, to be sure. Under no circumstances will we talk about our feelings. If you hear something which sounds like we are, while drunk, you are mistaken it is simply a very abstract joke that you don’t get because you are a lush that can’t handle her drink. We always feel grand, sure everything mighty with us…except others success, the pain and suffering of our ancestors and the cysts growing on our eroded livers.
Irish guys are mammys boys, you will always be second place in his heart. THE FUCK?? I live nearly 10k miles away from my mammy. I talk to her for a few minutes on the weekend. I do my own laundry and take care of myself. I won’t say it’s completely un-true but you then you also say Irish guys don’t commit. If we are all Mammy’s boys then wouldn’t that mean we’d respect women? Which is it ya Donkey raping shit covered cocks, yee!?
Also Irish guys don’t know much about the actual history of their country and seem ashamed of their culture. Ya what? Although their parents and grandparents played Traditional music throughout their lives, the new age Irish guy does not listen to this music or enjoy it and seems embarassed by it. What the fuck are ya shiten’ on about at all? I never once witnessed my dad listen to Traditional Irish Music and I do listen to some of it and enjoyed going to it being played live, so go fuck yourself.
Anywho. All of that is how I interpreted those sites. Some points were fairly valid. Irish guys drink too much and are wrongly proud of it, put hanging out with their own friends before their girlfriends etc. all ring somewhat true, I think. Because of the beat down, I thought I’d do up my own little guide:
Dating an Irish Man:
Firstly, forget about that dating craic. We don’t date. We’ll meet up with you at the end of a night out with our friends and make the face of ya, if you’re lucky. If we really like you, you’ll get finger fucked down an alleyway and then walked to the taxi rank.
We do love our Mammy, that’s for sure but all that means is you have to show us your worth. If you make a decent sheppards pie and iron our clothes, we’ll be like putty in your hands…or more likely, in your panties.
Us Irish lads aren’t like the lads in The Field or The Quiet Man any more. We have more hair products than yourselves and we’re also into our low cut tops and lesbian haircuts. Chinos and Skinny Jeans make our asses look like steaks in the butchers window, come get it girls. RARRR
We’ll make you listen to all kinds of music you will inevitably hate. At first you will think it’s cute because it’s so cultural and unique. But when you hear Come Out You Black and Tans at 3am every Sunday morning you will grow to hate it. Also we do know about our nations history and so will you, after we rant incessantly about how our people were wronged and expect compassion and understanding for the hurt we somehow feel even though it was decades ago and didn’t really directly impact our own lives.
We do have a great sense of humor. We love the craic, because the craic is mighty. However be warned, a dark, cynical soul lives deep within. We will comment on and critique other nationalities without ever having lived with them, we will belittle others success and from time to time we may even tell you to go fuck yourself but within hours we’ll be charming you once again with our quick wit and hearty banter. Oh to be sure, to be sure. Under no circumstances will we talk about our feelings. If you hear something which sounds like we are, while drunk, you are mistaken it is simply a very abstract joke that you don’t get because you are a lush that can’t handle her drink. We always feel grand, sure everything mighty with us…except others success, the pain and suffering of our ancestors and the cysts growing on our eroded livers.
